


I AM FINE

by ThousandsPinus



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean is Real, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Loneliness, M/M, One Night Stands, Reunions, Sub Xiao Zhan | Sean, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean Character Combinations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:34:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29377866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThousandsPinus/pseuds/ThousandsPinus
Summary: Xiao Zhan doesn't know which is more bitter between his life and the morning coffee. At this age he is reluctant to fill up this void in his life. Idea of marrying and starting a new life was faded along ago."I don't want to start a new life with lie" this was the excuse he made all the time. But for how many days he can hide his true self behind this lame excuse.At a specific point everyone has to face the true feeling and Xiao Zhan is no exception. Now it is on him how would he react in front of Wang Yibo. That teenage boy of the past who stirred up Zhan's life 10 years ago..
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean/Original Character(s), Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean/Reader, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. commitment

_"I am glad that I have finished my duty as a head tutor"_ Mr Xi brushes his tears at the corners of eyes. 

Today Mr Xi is taking his retirement. And his place will be filled up by Xiao Zhan; history teacher of the school.  
Leaning on the wall Zhan was waiting for his turn on stage.   
In his 11 years of career, he has experienced a lot of emotional moments.   
In the beginning, it used to make him sad but day by day he has become habituated. _"New replaces the old"_ after all this is the ordinance of nature. He had replaced someone when he got this job and one day he will be replaced by someone. There is no exception in it.

 _"A-Zhan, please come on stage"_ Mr Xi calls him.

Mr Xi's hands were shaking. 

" _And Zhan, I am relieved to pass on this responsibility to you"_  
Saying this Mr Xi gets off from the stage.  
Tears are glittering at the corner of his eyes.  
The school authority is going to appoint a new tutor. Zhan hasn't any prior curiosity to know the name or anything about that individual. After giving some barren speeches Zhan comes back to the staff's room to seek his glasses.

 _"So students let me introduce to you, Mr Wang. New teacher of our school"_  
A slender figure walks onto the stage.   
_"So Mr Wang_ _Yibo_ _. We have heard that you were a student at this school. Now you are appointed as a teacher too in this same school. How are you feeling now? Tell the students about your journey"_

Until now the auditorium was filled with silence. Though Xiao Zhan is famous for his stunning looks most of the girls and boys fears him because of his stoic face.   
After seeing their new tutor with a bright smile suddenly the place fills up with the buzz and whispers.

 _"Why does the school is appointing so good looking teachers one after another? Teacher Zhan was enough to blow off our mind and a new one again. We aren't to be blamed for slacking in studies"_  
This is the common thought that comes out from most of the girl's, seated there.

Zhan was in search of his glasses. Those welcoming speeches weren't inaudible after all.   
Hearing the name his hand stops inside of his bag. He immediately runs towards the auditorium.   
His myopia is worsening. Even these days he can't see 10m away. But that figure, he can feel the presence of it from miles away.

 _"How is it possible!! He promised that he would find me again, but those were some frivolous commitment of a mere teenager. Weren't those?"_  
With all of these dishevelled thoughts in his mind, he sees again that naughty kid.

Zhan feels so stuffy, grabbing all of his belongings from staff-room he comes out of the school.

Xiao Zhan is a history teacher at a private school in Bejing. He is 34 years old. Some strands of white hair have started to show up behind his ears already. He is in this profession for almost 11 years. 2 years after the beginning of his career he had taken a break for a year for some personal reasons. And later he joined again.   
Until today, he thought that the sacrifice of that year was worthy. But no, nothing can be assured in this world.

He somehow managed to unlock his apartment. At this moment he needs a cup of sugar-free black coffee. He wants to drown with its bitterness.

Turning on the coffee machine he leans on the sink, folding his arms to his chest he hangs his head lower with closed eyes.

" _Ting-ting"_  
The coffee is ready. He takes a sip. He wanted more bitterness. Splashing it onto basin, he puts a lot of coffee powder inside the machine and turns it on.

_"I have no energy and interest to face him again. I don't know if it's intentional or sudden but I don't want to repeat the past"_

Quitting won't work, the school authority won't accept it on the same day he is promoted.

And at this age, it will be difficult to find a new job.

 _"Ting, ting"_  
The coffee machine reminds it's the existence. Without looking at, he takes a sip it. 5 times bitter than the previous one. He was craving it.

Losing his tie, he squats on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

7 years ago after his father's demise, he acquired this apartment. Back then it was really hard to find a place with just one bedroom.   
All the teachers at the school laughed at his idea of buying a place without a kitchen and dining room.

 _"Isn't the pay enough to you? You can tell me, I can request to management to raise it for you. But please don't live as a saint"_ Mr Xi said to him jokingly.

He isn't thrifty. He isn't financially miserable too. But he truly doesn't need a capacious apartment, neither then nor now. What is the use of having an extra bedroom or dining space, if there is no one to come over. He normally savours that bitter coffee almost 10 times a day. If hunger crawls up that much, he calls for take-out or sometimes from school canteen buys burgers or sandwiches for lunch and dinner. So there isn't any need for the kitchen too.

 _"Cring. Cring. Cring"_  
His phone suddenly starts to ring. A colleague from the school is calling.

He didn't have any urge to pick it up, but finally, he does. It's his workplace after all, which makes him occupied otherwise along ago he would already be dead of being cramped with his stuffy life.

_"Oh, teacher Xiao!! Why don't you buy a smartphone? If you had we chat then I could give your id to Mr Wang. But now as you don't have any, he and I are coming over to your place"_

_"Oh, God!! I forgot that as a headteacher it is my responsibility to elaborate the routines and the classes to a newcomer. But can it not be delayed until tomorrow?"_

Though he knows the importance, still he tends to delay it just for one night and give a proper thought of how to deal with the situation, without being a coward.

_"No, it can't be. Ms Li is on maternity leave so without prior cognition it will be hectic for a new one"._

It is true. Assistant headmistress Ms Li isn't there. So there isn't anyone on whom Zhan could rely on. If he doesn't do this today tomorrow will be too much for him too.

_"Hello teacher Xiao, are you there? Ok, I am hanging up now and heading to your place within half an hour with Mr Wang"_

Saying this the call is cut off.

Zhan heaves a sigh and looks around. All of his clothes are piled up on his bed. He grabs everything and throws them inside the closet under his bed.

_To be continued..._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having plenty of money, but what's the use of it, if there is no one to spend on. What's the meaning of owning a huge apartment if the space remains dark for the whole day.   
> What I mean is -  
> "Let's make a family, together" this sentence is really valuable for life.


	2. Digging Void

_"Mr Wang, please wait for a minute"_  
Mr Lao runs to lock the main gate of the school.

Wang Yibo is leaning on the boundary wall outside the school's compound. The left hand is inside his pocket and smoking with the right hand.

After graduating from high school Wang Yibo went low-profile for almost 8 years. Detaching with all of his friends, fled away to Shanghai to build up his career. The only purpose of his life was to find Zhan again. Without being a skittish or a coward, he decided to make himself compatible enough that Zhan can't turn him down again.

 _"I will find you again"_  
This line wasn't just a spontaneous commitment. He devoted his utmost to turn it into reality.  
Back then he didn't give it a thought that whether Zhan took him seriously or not. He was never in a dilemma that in future what will happen if Zhan tied the knot with someone else.  
He wanted to prove himself in Zhan's eyes.

 _"Hehe, Mr Wang. I am done. Let's go"_  
Mr Lao's voice distracts Yibo's thought.  
He raises the packet of cigarettes to offer the person smiling in front of him.

 _"No, no. I don't smoke"_ Mr Lao refuses.  
Yibo throws the packet inside his pocket.

" _And Mr Wang. Please finish it before entering Mr Xiao's place. He despises it a lot"_  
Mr Lao warns Yibo.

But this isn't the Zhan-ge he used to know.

" _Why do you change the brand every time?"_  
Back then Yibo used to ask Zhan.  
Every time the elder person used to smile.  
_"What is the pleasure of hooking onto a particular one?"_ or " _selecting a special one creates weaknesses"_ were his answers.

Once Yibo insisted to taste a random one.  
_"You are still young. A bright future is waiting ahead. Don't entangle yourself with my habits"_ Zhan replied with circling the breathed out the smokes.

It always makes Yibo laugh that 9years ago how Yibo convinced Zhan for home tuition.

Their cab stops in front of a narrow alley; full of patches.

 _"Sir, the car won't go through such a narrow lane. The condition of the road is miserable. So you have to get off here"_ The driver says. Yibo looks outside by the window. It is true indeed. But if they walk through this waterlogged lane their shoes will be soggy.

After paying off Mr Lao come outside at first. The car door can't be opened by both sides due to lack of space.  
Due to heavy pouring of last night, the place has turned marshy. Wang Yibo was nearly going to slip.  
Mr Lao hold his arm instantly and help him to stand.

 _"After crossing this lane there will be a slum area at the canopy. Thereafter is Mr_ _Xiao's_ _apartment"_ Mr Lao explains.

It was going to be dark. The street lights are moribund. Wang Yibo almost going to bump against a stone.

 _"Be careful. Mr Wang"_  
Mr Lao helps him again and continues  
" _I can't understand how Mr Xiao is managing to live in such a neighbourhood. He is paid a handsome salary after all. If he wants, he can afford a much better place and a life too. We have advised many times to marry someone and live a proper life"_

Yibo emerges himself again in his thoughts.

While he was still in high school, Yibo used to visit Zhan's apartment regularly. Then his apartment was short of space but the condition was far better.

Once Yibo abruptly asked Zhan.  
_"Ge, why don't you buy a new apartment; bigger_ _than this one?"_

 _"And what's the use of that?"_ Zhan replied with a stony, emotionless face.

 _"I can stay at night at your place. You will help me with my revision. It will be a lot of fun"_ Yibo smirked.

 _"Still you can..whenever you want.."_ Zhan replied while checking Yibo's copies.

 _"But now there isn't even an extra couch, don't tell me you are planning to share a bed with me"_ Yibo laughed loudly.

Zhan didn't reply; only cleared his throat. Returning the copies to Yibo, he kept reading his thesis papers without even looking at the younger person.

At that time Yibo used to demands a lot. Some of them were kept by Zhan and sometimes Yibo himself used to forget after a while.

Yibo doesn't realise that they have already reached the front of Zhan's place. He looks at his feet; shoes have soaked a lot of water and weighed heavier.  
Yibo looks upwards.  
Mr Lao and he are standing in front of a 12th floored old building. The outer paints of it already faded away. Inner rods are showing their existence.

 _"There isn't any lift. And Mr Xiao lives on the 8th floor. Can you manage it?"_  
Yibo was going to say something but Mr Lao cuts him.

 _"You haven't a choice anyway. Then I am going. I could go with you but I have aged already and my knee pain is deteriorating. So, please manage yourself a bit"_  
Mr Lao is right, he is in his mid-50s. So, it will be hard for him if he goes inside.  
Yibo only nods and bids farewell.

Yibo diverts his gaze at his wristwatch.  
6:30 pm. He enters the building and climbs the stairs one by one.  
After two floors Yibo rests for a couple of minutes and keep going again.

After 15 minutes or so he finally reaches there.  
"Mr Xiao Zhan" the wooden nameplate is half broken already.

Yibo finds that there isn't any bell.  
So he slams on the door... Even after several attempts, no one answers.

Yibo slams his hand on the wall with frustration.  
_"I should have asked Mr Lao for the number"_

Then he leans on the wall. Suddenly he remembers he still has Zhan's number on his phone. He dials it. 8 years ago Zhan had this number. Yibo doesn't know he is still using it or not.

" _If this doesn't work then I have to go back today,"_ Yibo thinks.

_**To be continued...** _


	3. Dilemma(1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two lovers are standing in front of each other after so many years. One loves to run away from his feelings and the other one is ready to face every difficulty.  
> Zhan realised that it will be very tough to face Yibo. Being sat in front of him, he was fighting with himself.

After 2 rings, someone picks up...  
_"Hello, who is this?"_

 _His voice is the same as before, no change at all._ Yibo's voice freezes.  
Almost 9 years later he is hearing him again.

Back then Yibo used to pester Zhan just to hear this voice.  
_"_ _Yibo_ _!! Stop it"_  
_"_ _Yibo_ _!! I am checking copies. Don't disturb me"..."_ _Yibo_ _, I am warning you, don't stare at me while I am taking the class"...."_ _Yibo_ _, look at your grade..and you are still flirting"..._  
Whether he was cursed or complimented, Zhan's voice was the only factor used to make him contented.

" _Hello._ _Hello... Who is this? Is it you Mr Lao?"_ Zhan keeps asking.

Not too long, Yibo returns to his senses again and heaves a sigh.  
_"Open the door"_ is the only this Yibo manages to say.

Zhan feels numb... He knows who is this.  
_It is you._ _It's already been ages._ He doesn't know for how long he stood there holding his phone.

After a while, Zhan scrupulously raises his hand to unlock the door.

Yibo was still holding the phone to his ear. There was once a time when this silence used to cramp him.

Hearing a creaky sound of unlocking an old, rusty gate, Yibo lifts his head.

 _"Come in"_ stepping aside Zhan provide enough space.

Yibo smashed the cigarette, which was keeping him out from ennui and walks inside.  
His wet shoes left ostensible spots on the ground.

 _It_ _is more stuffy than the previous one._  
Yibo looks around.

 _"Sit. I didn't get enough time to organize. So the room is a little messy. Don't mind it"_  
Yibo scans the room with quick eyes. There isn't any couch or chair to sit, just a bed, a coffee machine. Some old books are piled up on the bed too.

Once there was a time when Yibo used to spend hours at Zhan's place just to help in organizing the room.

Yibo looks at Zhan blankly.

 _"Ah, I am sorry"_ Zhan lifts those things and gathered them on the table beside the bed.

 _"Suit yourself"_ Zhan turns to Yibo with a stoic complexion.

 _"Do you need anything?"_ Zhan asks with mannerism.

Yibo was scrolling the screen of his mobile. He looks upwards.  
_"Just a glass of water"_

Old feelings crept Zhan in his thought. Back then Zhan used to visit Yibo's place after school to help him in the study. _"_ _Yibo_ _, give me a glass of water"_  
Once Zhan told him after rushing there in haste.  
_"Then drink me"_ Yibo devoted himself instead of water.

Zhan looks around. He has only a coffee mug.  
_"There isn't any glass, will you be ok with drinking from a bottle otherwise I can pour it into the coffee mug"_

Yibo averted his gaze upwards just for once _"Give me the bottle"_ and returns on the screen again.

Zhan places a bottle in Yibo's hands and padded to a corner to gather some important papers.

Keeping the phone on his thigh Yibo bottoms up and swallows almost half of it. He didn't realise that he was quite thirsty.

 _"You are alone. Mr Lao told earlier that he was coming with you"_ Zhan asks.

 _"He said his knee is_ _excruciating. So I didn't insist on"_ Yibo responses.

_"Yes, he is aged, and 8th floor without a lift is quite arduous"_

Zhan retorts with some papers and a pair of shoes.

 _"Put on these"_ keeps the shoes on the ground.

 _"Huh._ " Yibo looks at _"No, I am ok"_

Zhan doesn't implore.

If it was earlier, Yibo would be amused.  
_"Ge, your things fit quite well"_ Yibo used to be in jocose wearing Zhan's shoes, shirts.

 _"What is there to be amused?"_ Once Zhan asked curiously.  
_"_ _Ge's_ _smell lingers on it"_ this reply turned him horny. He looked defiantly into Yibo's eyes for a moment but immediately restraint his lust.  
_"School authority will sue me if they know..."_ and the sentence was never finished.

After a while, Yibo's feet is quite itchy. He isn't habituated with stepping into the murky water.

He finally removes the shoes and going to put on the dry ones.

Zhan sits at the corner of the bed facing Yibo to illustrate the duties and responsibilities, classes and many other things.

 _"For now you sit comfortably, and it is already 7:30, it will take 3 hours or more so I have already called for take-outs. Don't go without having dinner"_ Zhan starts to define everything one by one.

Eventually, the surroundings have turned comfortable, both have adapted themselves already.

 _Within one month, I will request authority to transfer me to another branch otherwise I will resign. So, it is just only a matter of a few days._  
Before twisting the handle of the door Zhan had already decided.

Zhan has concentrated on Yibo's schedule, Yibo takes this chance to take a proper glance at the person sitting in front.  
_It's been years. He is a little tanned now. But these aren't senile. He needs proper rest._

If it were those days then Yibo would procure Zhan for a small trip at weekend.

Once they did so, after the midterm examination, Yibo had so much free time and Zhan buried himself into answer sheets. So, after a couple of weeks, Yibo dragged Zhan into the outskirts of the city.  
Zhan never verbally admired Yibo's efforts but he didn't ever resist too.

Zhan suddenly passes a paper _"Read the lines, these days my sight is deteriorating, and the letters are quite small. Besides I was in haste so left the glasses at the school"_

Yibo recalls something and pulls something outs from his pocket.  
_"Here. Mr Lao had told me, again and again, to return these back to you. Still, I forgot"_ Yibo puts down Zhan's glasses on the scattered papers.

Zhan smiles, _"oh, Mr Lao, he knows that I am nearly blind without these"_

 _"Teacher Zhan looks so handsome in glasses"_ Yibo used to complement Zhan when he just took the glasses for the first times. Then it was just for reading purposes.

In the meantime, Zhan's phone starts ringing...

_**To Be Continued...** _  
  
  



	4. Dilemma (2)

It is the take-out boy. Because of the terrific condition of the road, delivery boys often are in denial. After some arguments, Zhan agrees to pick it up at the main road.

 _"I am going to pick up the food."_  
Yibo was checking something, he gazes upwards.

 _"Why? Won't they deliver it here?"_ Yibo's voice is stern.

 _"They do, but in case of downpours, you have already seen the condition of the road. So..."_ Zhan explains.

_"Isn't there another way to reach here?"_

_"Oh, yes there is another road but for that, I have to share my location via WeChat. And I have no WeChat account"_ Zhan excuse himself.

Yibo silently concentrates on the pages again.

 _"Wait for me, it won't take too long"_ putting on the long coat Zhan closes the door with a bang.

Zhan is leaning on the closed door. If he had insisted a little bit, the delivery boy would agree. But at this moment he needs some air. For the first time, his room makes him feel cramped.

Half an hour later he returns with a giant pizza and chocolate ice cream for Yibo and just a burger for himself.

After dinner, they work till midnight.

 _"Ok, I am going now"_ Yibo stands up.

 _"Just wait a minute. I am coming with you"_ Zhan tells.

 _"You don't have to. I can manage"_ Yibo   
lifts his shoes to wear.

 _"Leave those here. Tomorrow I will bring it to school. And it's already late. That neighbourhood isn't safe either."_  
Zhan opens the door _"let's go"_

Yibo doesn't argue anymore.  
It is 12:30 am, Zhan and Yibo are waiting at the main road for the cab.

 _"You can go home now. I can manage"_ Yibo says to the person standing beside him.

 _"It's ok. I don't sleep this early"_ Zhan replies.

Yibo lits up a cigarette and puts forward the packet towards Zhan.  
 _"I have quit along ago"_ Zhan avert his gaze.

 _"Are you comfortable with this area? You can afford a much better place"_ Yibo asked apathetically.

 _"Yes, it's fine"_ Zhan sighs.

Again an awkward silence ravels the surroundings.

 _"I will return your shoes tomorrow,"_ Yibo tells.

Zhan was on the verge to answer but the cab arrives.

The next day at school, Zhan is checking some important papers, his classes are after lunch. Now he has to attend the classes of senior year's only.

 _"May we come in?"_ One of his colleagues asks from behind the curtain.

 _"Yes, yes,"_ Zhan welcomes with a bright smile.

Every teacher and staff of the school enters his cabin.   
_"Congratulation Zhan. Where's our party?"_ everybody wishes for his advancement.

Zhan chuckles _"It seems all of you have come prepared? But don't you have classes to attend?"_

 _"Oh, A-Zhan get some time for yourself. You are so much engrossed with work so you haven't noticed that it is lunchtime"_ the senior-most person seated there, answers.

 _"Oh really"_ Zhan looks at the clock on the wall. It is 1:30 pm indeed.

 _"Ok, ok. All of you are hungry already. So_ _at first let me order lunch for everyone. We_ _will talk while eating"_ Zhan curves his lips upwards and stands up to walk to the canteen.

 _"Oh, you don't have to. Mr Wang is already on his way. Earlier when we were intending to gather here, he urges to treat everyone._ _He is a newbie, he even hasn't paid yet. So we insisted to postpone it for but he didn't listen."_ everybody tells in unison.

 _He is still the same._ On the chair, Zhan settles down again.

Back then once during the exam days, Zhan had back to back shifts at exam halls. So he hadn't enough time to eat properly, at lunch hours he was busy with assembling the answer sheets.

 _"Teacher Xiao, where we're you today? At lunchtime, I couldn't find you in the canteen"_ in the afternoon, Yibo asked him suddenly.

 _"I was busy, at least I wasn't fooling around, unlike you"_ Zhan was checking Yibo's homework.

But if Zhan had known that the next day Yibo would drag him to the canteen in front of everyone he would have thought once before replying.

After that day out of the concern of his image, he didn't dare to omit his lunch. At least he knew Yibo. If he had settled his mind he would acquire it by any means.

The canteen is replenished. So, Yibo has to wait in a long cue.

 _"I have no problem with the party. But my place isn't enough for 70 people_ _. And a foyer needs prior booking"_ after thinking a little while Zhan confirms that on the first weekend of the next month he will organise it.   
_This is probably the party for my retirement._

 _"Everybody. Let's eat"_ Yibo enters with lots of food.

 _"You guys start. I want a cup of coffee so grabbing it returning within five minutes"_ Zhan stands up and picks up his wallet.

 _"Sit down, I have brought yours too"_ Yibo places a cup of noodles on the table and suits himself at the empty seat beside Zhan's.

Half an hour later everybody returns to their respective class.

 _"Wait"_ Yibo halts as Zhan calls him from the back.

Zhan torts to Yibo _"Here are your shoes"_

 _"Thanks.. May I ask you for something?"_ Yibo hesitates.

"Yes. Go on"

_"I have moved two days ago. This neighbourhood has changed a lot. Would you mind if I ask you to go out with me this weekend? I have to buy some furniture for my apartment"_

_"Ok, I have to book a hotel too. But last night who did give you my number?"_ Zhan asks curiously.

Yibo doesn't answer and leaves.

 _You are still that_ _Yibo_ _. Love to_ _commote_ _inside other's mind._  
Back then to get the phone number  
Yibo made a scene of giddiness in Zhan's class and at last, left no choice for Zhan other than calling at Yibo's home.

 _"Yibo, I am warning you. If you don't stop being licentious and try to incite again I will abhor the class right way"_ later he warned Yibo.

**_To be continued....._ **   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
